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Aisle Say: Man to Man (Advice from the Groom-To-Be)

9 The GuysAdam (a.k.a. “the groom”) with his two best men, Matt (left) and Pete.

By Adam Lupino

Hello, friends. My amazing, beautiful and talented fiancé, Amanda, asked me to make a cameo appearance this week. So if you’re reading this and have enjoyed her prose, I’m sorry, but you’re stuck with “the groom” for a few minutes.

Thanks for your interest in our wedding. Amanda has been great, but I’ve actually been itching to add my perspective to this wonderful journey. And those who know me well know I’m not one to stay quiet for long. I’ll be blunt: I started this whole bonanza when I decided that Amanda was “the one.” From reading this blog, you already know that story (in case you missed it, click here). What you may not know about is the hard work (in my mind) I put in to find and purchase that forever diamond, hard work that I thought granted me a lot of wedding-planning equity, you know the ability to call the shots. News flash to grooms and prospective grooms out there: Your job is done (so to speak). After that diamond sparkles on her finger, you’re essentially powerless! But it’s okay, you survived the really scary moments of navigating the jewelry store, asking parental permission (old school always — don’t propose without respecting her parents) and planning an unforgettable engagement. Bask in that glory and just back off a little on the planning (no Groomzillas wanted). Don’t be absent, but let her dictate. Don’t worry — she will plan an amazing day. It took me awhile and some stressful moments early on to realize that, but this event, while about the both of you, really is ALL ABOUT HER. I truly want to thank the David’s Bridal “it’s all about her” commercials for crystallizing this harsh reality (I wish I saw this TV spot much earlier).

I’m no expert and I’ve got bruises (taking my own medicine now) to prove that, but here’s my advice: Gentleman, if you want to participate, the idea is to keep it simple and pick your spots (back to basics). So please listen:

1. Stay as far away as possible from dresses, flowers and table settings (I promise you have no idea, so don’t lie).

2. Offer support on bands/DJ, the venue and food options, but don’t push your luck if she falls in love with a venue.

3. Taste lots of cake, but it’s her pick.

4. Take charge by figuring out the transportation.

5. Pick out some classy fashion-forward tuxes, and start honeymoon planning by selecting four options with her input (but always pick where her heart is leaning).

6. Remember to select six of your closest best friends as your groomsmen, and let them plan multiple crazy bachelor parties in your honor. The less you get in the way of planning, the more bachelor party fun you can have (I promise!).

Remember, this is exciting and doable and an incredible time to be with your parents and future in-laws so cherish it, don’t stress. Speaking of stress…

7. Do not add any unnecessary stress to her life. Wedding planning is enough on top regular day to days. Love her, be there for support and reason and always catch her when she is falling.

Cheers, I just marked off another hour on the countdown to my bachelor party!

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